With the good news that DOMA and Prop 8 are now no longer valid arguments against equality there comes a shining opportunity for the LGBTQ community to blaze a new path when it comes to marriage. Amongst the memes and pictures from our campaigners there were a large number which sort to diminish what our opponents were claiming the institution was. “If marriage is so blessed by God why are you divorcing?” was the case presented by one campaigner. Another pointed out the marriages that had made the headlines for their short life, their publicity motivated reason, and serial nature. All of these were valid arguments when we the LGBTQ community were being stopped from celebrating our love but it was also a misdirection.
Across the globe there are couples who are heterosexual who have lived long married lives together and are content with the person they chose at the alter. To liken them to Kim Kardashian etc. is insulting to them. They would tell you that marriage is not a half hour in front of a preacher but rather is a life of shared happiness and sadness, it’s hard work and the only reward is to know that the person you are with loves you and has chosen you above all the other choices they might have. Marriage for them is not the right to have a party with friends but is the description of themselves and their life together. To them divorce isn’t an answer if they become bored.
So as we the newcomers to the institution approach our altars to say our vows lets choose to do it in the right way. Just because we can get married isn’t enough. If you want a blow out party to celebrate how much you love someone for a day then throw it but don’t call it marriage. Instead take the time to find the one who carries your soul in their heart and protects it. Find the one who will turn being married from a photo in a photo album showing a day to a photo album of two lives that have walked together. Celebrate the fact that it’s a commitment for good and bad but one which is a daily journey together. And be blessed in your unions. Show the people who tried to stop you from being married and sharing your life openly together just how you are choose to define your love.